When Your Gone
by Alaina Oiche
Summary: Seventy five years have passed since his death, and not just his but her fathers too. Now a goddess Jade must live in a world where her love his gone. at least until he returns via reincarnation. But after so long she has just about given up hope. That is until her right hand man, Vanitas, tells her about a young man that comes to her club just to see her.
1. Prologue

She had felt it, felt it as the bond was severed and he died. The silver fell to her knees and screamed as she felt his pain. Ice spikes rose around her as sorrow filled her. First her father and now Loki, the two most important people to her. What was she to do now? How would she even begin to move on from this? Even her mother was gone now.

Jade curled up on the ground the ice growing around her as she sobbed. There were others there. Sora and company not that she cared at the moment. Her heart felt like it was being ripped out. How long had she told herself she would be ok as long as she had Loki? How many times had he said he would be there for her? Now he was gone.

A few hours passed before her tears ran dry. It was another hour before she got up the ice melting around her. Everyone was gone now which was good. It meant she could slip away. Find Thor, she had to find Thor as much as she loathed him. The buffoon was her best bet at finding out what had happened. So she found him, and she found out what happened.

When she found Thor she was taken to the Norns. They were the Norse version of the Greek fates. They stood in a circle around a ball of green energy. The energy felt familiar and she was even drawn to it. What was it? As Jade got closer she began to cry again. It was his godhood. What was it doing here?

" You have to take it." Skuld whispered as the silver drew closer. " He had no children, only you can hold it until he returns."

The silver blinked as it hit her. They wanted her to take his godhood and apparently she was the only one that could do it. Jade had also picked up on the fact that he would be coming back. Her hand ran over the mark on her arm a tear running down her cheek. If she did this she would be immortal. Once that was given it could not be taken.

" If you don't then when he returns his godhood will be lost." Urd stated folding her arms. What would this girl do? They could not hold his godhood forever.

" I'll do it." She finally stated coming closer still and standing right in front of the glowing green ball. Jade wanted to see him again. There was also no telling when he would be reincarnated. If she didn't become immortal she may not ever see him again and that wasn't an option.

Take the orb she pushed it into herself before a gasp escaped her. Pain, horrible pain that had her falling to the ground. Someone caught her though she didn't know who. Her vision was going black and a pained grin graced her lips. She would see him again, she had too.

It was Thor that caught her and hefted her up. The blonde sighed as he moved to carry her to a room he had set up for her. The god had known what would happen because the norns had warned him. He was just glad she had passed out instead of remaining awake. Jade didn't deserve the pain, the anguish that was going to be her constant companion. It would be his too if he was honest. Perhaps this would bring them closer, but it was horrible that it took Loki dying for it to happen.

Once to the room he set her down on the bed. It had her crystal collection in it. The one that Loki and Alistair had painstakingly kept track of. Some things that reminded the thunder god of his brother were also present. It saddened him greatly that Loki would be absent for a long while. They didn't even know when he would be back.

A sigh left him as he moved to leave the room. " Return quickly, Brother. I don't know how long she can last without losing herself." Thor glanced back at Jade one more time before he left the room shutting the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 1

It had been over half a decade, and still there seemed to be no sign of him. Though, she had honestly stopped looking. Her hope had dried up years ago. A sigh left the silver haired goddess as she sat in the club she owned. It was almost time to open up for the night. Would she just leave her manager in charge tonight? It was something she was doing more and more. Even her right hand had noticed her withdrawing.

Speaking of the devil, he was walking over to her right now. Vanitas was good and knowing when she was feeling skittish. He read her almost as well as Loki had. The silver still wondered why he had chosen to come to her. It had happened a few years after Loki had passed. Jade really didn't understand it as they had been at odds with each other before. Now they were rather close and he even bore her mark. There was no question as to why he had gotten her favor. She valued loyalty and Vanny had shown that a hundred times over.

" You know, I have noticed there is a young man that comes in here every night." Vanitas stated as he sat down on the couch next to her. He had noticed the male always looked for Jade. On the days she wasn't there he dipped out after a half hour. There was also the fact that he looked like Loki. The raven knew it would be the end of the benefits part of their friendship, but if he got to see her smile again it would be worth it. " He seems to come in to see you."

Green hues narrowed at the raven as she tilted her head. That was interesting to know. She hadn't noticed, but so many mortal men came into her. If he stayed back it was something that could slip past her notice. " Maybe I should give him a show." Jade stated smirking as a thought accrued to her. It had been sometime since she had laid with a true mortal. Most of the time she just slept with Vanitas.

Oh he knew what that smirk meant. It meant she wanted a new flavor for a night. Did it rub him the wrong way? Absolutely, but he had no room to talk. The raven knew that she would never care for him as he did for her. It was a fact of life and there was nothing that would change that. In the end he knew it was better this way. It meant he would never have to admit to his feelings for her. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to admit to it without thing s turning sour. In the end he still didn't know how to express such emotions.

" If that is what you wish, goddess." Vanitas stated as a sigh left him. Maybe this male would be Loki. Really he hoped it was. Then he wouldn't have to watch her lose more of herself. The raven was tired of watching her become more hallow with each passing years.

" Don't give me that goddess shit." Jade stated as she got up and headed for the back. If she was going to perform she needed to dress for it. Gods, she didn't even remember the last time she had sung. Most likely before he died, or shortly after. No, when she had first gotten the club she had sung often to try and keep her spirits up. Now….. well, this was the first time she had even felt an inkling of hope.

The raven followed a bit mad at himself for telling her about the male that looked like Loki. Maybe she wouldn't see him. Oh what was his name? Vanitas knew he had asked the male for his name. What was it? It was on the tip of his tongues Aleric, Alistair….no that's right, it was Alabaster.

Walking into her dressing room that she barely used anymore his eyes went wide. She had bought that dress and never worn it. Green velvet that hugged her body like a glove. It did all sorts of things to Vanitas, but he knew he was unlikely to get any tonight. But he saw that spark of hope in her eyes and could bare to take it from her. This guy had better be Loki, because if he wasn't Jade might not react well.

" You think this dress will be good enough?" The goddess asked as she looked at Vanny. There was a small spark in her green hues. It was a spark that hadn't been there in so very long. She felt like a bit of herself was being revived at the mere thought of him finally coming back.

" I think he is gonna have a field day." Vanny states a bit sour. He had always known she was never really his to have. These years had been borrowed, and it would be coming to an end soon. It made his heart ache not that he would ever admit to it. No, keeping his feelings to himself was the best thing for both of them. Her heart already belonged to someone and that person made her happy. In the end that was what he wanted to see her be happy again. The only way for that to happen was for them to find Loki. So that was what they would do.


	3. Chapter 2

He walked into the club and looked around for her. The silver haired woman who seemed to run things, when she was here. It seemed like she was here less and less. A smile split across his face as he noted her at her normal table. The dress she was wearing was absolutely gorgeous on her. The emerald velvet hugged her curves and looked around her feet. The color also accented her skin to very nicely. The carnal color glowing when matched with the green. Something in him seemed to purr and he wondered her a moment if it was his alter.

" _There is no one sitting with her." _The voice spoke in his head. Alabaster licked his lips as he thought about it. Usually there was a male that sat or stood with her. Tonight however he was missing and soon enough his feet were carrying him to her. " _You'll thank me later."_

Vanitas watched as the male started to go toward Jade. Normally he was either sitting with her or standing behind her. This time he had decided to leave her one her own. It was never that she couldn't handle herself. Jade could handle anything thrown at her. It was more of him trying to keep other men away from her. Now he needed to stand back and see if this male was the one. If it was Loki he would disappear into the darkness, maybe merging with Sora would be a good idea now.

She watched as he came toward her and tilted her head. That smile and his face was so similar to Loki's. There were certainly differences but the resemblance was still there. Jade gave him a small smile as she sat up and motioned for him to sit with her. Loki's eyes had been green, but this males eyes were blue. Instead of black hair it was a dark reddish brown. The goddess blinked as she noted a long scar that started at his temple and went clear down to his Adam's apple.

Alabaster swallowed as he sat next to her a bit nervous now. He had never thought he would be here sitting next to her. A gasp left him as he felt her finger tips graze his scar. It had been a gift from his abusive father. The light touch actually sent a shiver down his spine. " My father was not particularly nice."

" Are you still living with him?" She asked anger sparking in her. How long had it been since she had felt angry like this? Jade really didn't know. Even so her eyes were soft as she looked at him.

" No, he and my mother died when I was ten." He stated not sure why he was telling her any of this. Alabaster had always kept thing locked up. Keep your cards close so no one can use them against you. Yet he had just spilled the truth when he told everyone else is was from a fight. For some reason he didn't want to lie to her.

"_Lying wouldn't work." _The voice, which he had dubbed as Loki stated. Alabaster sometimes got the feeling Loki was a bit more then a voice in his head. Sometimes when he was really stressed out he would black out and go days, sometimes mo this before waking up. There was always a note that said don't worry I took care of it. Who took care of it he wasn't sure, maybe it was Loki. He really didn't know.

" I see." She stated as her hand withdrew. It was strange, the old urge surfacing. Jade had always loved to touch and cuddle with Loki. These were things she never did with Vanitas. They fucked and then he left the room to go to his. Her home was large enough that they almost never saw each other unless they needed to talk about something to do with the club. It hadn't always been that way when it came to not seeing each other. Heck, he had held her on the bad nights when she needed someone. Now she only had two week out of every year that she would fall into that kind of sadness and depression. " I assume you went into the system."

" I did." He nodded surprised that he actually missed her touch on his face. It almost seemed like he craved it. Alabaster also wanted to badly to run his hands through her long silver locks. The loose kinky curls hung about her shoulder and made her face seem to glow. " _Of course she glows. She is a goddess now."_

That jolted him into looking closer. How long had the club been here with her as the owner? Alabaster knew that gods existed as he had seen Thor in passing once. He also knew that all of Asgard had moved to this realm after their realm was destroyed. There were even rumors that Loki was dead, killed by Thanos. Something in the pit of his stomach seemed to sour as he thought about that.

Even so he was starting to notice the other worldly qualities. Yet, there was also something unmistakably human about her. It was then his mind went to the last word spoken by his alter. She was a goddess now, but she hadn't always been. How his other knew that he didn't know and Alabaster had a feeling that Loki wasn't telling. If he was honest with himself he didn't think he was ready to know anyway.

" You look amazing tonight." He blurted unable to take the growing silence between them. Swallowing he hoped she didn't take offense. Why was he suddenly so nervous? Yet the smile that spread across her face took his breath away. He had never seen her smile like that before. It reached her eyes and lit up her entire face as pink spread over her cheeks. Had he ever seen her blush before? It made her look absolutely gorgeous.

Well this was new, that was for sure. Her face actually hurt because she hadn't smiled in so long. Jade looked down before looking back at him feeling the heat in her cheeks. When was the last time she had blushed? Most likely the last time she had been with Loki. It was so long ago she almost didn't remember it. He had had such an ability to make her squirm and blush. The god had gotten her to shades of red so dark she had felt like a lobster.

" Thank you." She stated as she leaned toward him without realizing it. Jade kept smiling even as the show started. The silver wouldn't go on until much later. She already had the song picked out. It was so her because she wasn't going down. Just when they thought they would see the last of her she would always be right back on her feet. That was his she was, it was his her father had taught her to be.

A pang of sadness hit her as she thought of Daddy. She still missed him. Jade figures that was one reason she kept Vanny around. He reminded her of her father, but was different enough that he didn't make her sad. The raven was a connection to her father that she really didn't want to lose. Even with the things of her fathers that she had she still felt an almost strange disconnect. Though that could have been her head messing with her.

" What's wrong?" He asked as a hand came up and caressed her cheek. Alabaster blinked unsure why he had actually done that. All he knew was that he didn't want to see her sad. She had so much sadness already and just didn't need anymore.

The surprise came when she leaned into the touch going to far as to bury herself against his chest. Alabaster blinked before his arms wrapped around her tightly. He could feel her face on his neck and the wetness that told him she was crying. _"Her father or maybe something else…."_ Loki chimed in his head.

Where in the world had this come from? She hadn't cried over losing Daddy in years. When his arms wrapped around her she snuggled against him. His arms felt like home, he already looked like Loki. That just might be it, he looks enough like Loki for her not to care. He might not even be Loki, but she was so tired of feeling alone. " What's your name?"

" Alabaster." He stated as he rubbed her back the crying hadn't lasted long, buthe could still hear it in her voice. It made his heart ache even though he didn't know her. He wanted her to be happy again and smile like she just had.

" My name is Jade." The silver started as she pulled away. Shit, she hadn't even been paying attention to the show. " And I am performing tonight and need to get to the back."

Alabaster nodded and smiled when she said she was performing tonight. He didn't think he had ever seen her proform. " I look forward to this." He stated pouting a bit as she stood up. His eyes traveled over her unable to help himself. Her curves and her utter sex appeal had many men and women looking. There was just something in her energy that pulled those thought to the forefront of his mind.

Jade smirked as she noted how his eyes roamed over her. This dress had certainly been the right choice. Why she did what she did next she wasn't sure. Leaning down she pressed her lips to his only for every nerve in her to spark. A hum escaped as he returned the kiss before she pulled away. Oh he was so going home with her tonight. She smiled as she walked off toward the back to get ready for her number.


	4. Chapter 3

Going back stage she got her hair ready pulling it up like Christina in the movie. A smile appeared as she thought about watching it with her mother as a teen. The song was also from the movie. It was one that had always resonated with her. There was another song as well that did that. One that she had sung to Loki many years ago. It was all so long ago and yet she could remember it like it was yesterday. Maybe she would get to sing that song again.

The goddess was soon on stage the curtain down. She took in a deep breath wondering if she could even still do this. It had been so very long since she had sung anything. Yet she felt it in her gut. Both her parents could sing and she knew she could too. It didn't matter that she hadn't done it in a long time, she could still do it. The curtain came up and soon the music started.

"Feeling broken/Barely holding on/But there's just something so strong" Her will. That thing that kept her going even when she wanted to give up. Jade had never had it in her to give up. "Somewhere inside me/And I am down but I'll get up again/Don't count me out just yet"

He was mesmerized when the curtain rose and there she was. The spotlight made her hair shine and her voice was so sweet. It made him shiver again as tingles moves through him. What was she doing to him? How was she doing this to him? It had to be something to do with her being a goddess. But was he really opposed to it? He hadn't felt anything like this since he was a teen. After that things had pretty much gone dead desire wise.

"I've been brought down to my knees/ And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking" The point of breaking had been losing her father and Loki at pretty much the same time. " But I can take it/I'll be back/Back on my feet/This is far from over." It would never be over. As long as she breathed it would never be over. Even as she lost herself more and more she would keep fighting to stand. "You haven't seen the last of me/You haven't seen the last of me"

Pain, he heard it as she sang. Did it surprise him? No, something about her spoke of pain in her life. Though he got the feeling most of it came from when she was human. It had to be hard to a be a goddess after being mortal. Though judging by how young she looked she might have only been in her twenties when she became a goddess. _" Twenty six, that was how old she was."_

Pain had been a companion to her for a long time. From the moment she noticed the distance her father had started to put between him and her mother. " "They can say that/I won't stay around/But I'm gonna stand my ground" And she had. Even when a spell gone wrong had sent her to the past where at the time she had known no one. It wasn't till later when She was sent to Asgard that she was thankful for that damned spell. "You're not gonna stop me/You don't know me/You don't know who I am/Don't count me out so fast"

Alabaster had the feeling he knew more than he should, or rather Loki knew. Loki seemed to know a lot of things about the silver on stage. It made him wonder if the old stories about reincarnation were true. So did Thank make his alter a past life? He would have to do more research into it. Though it was doubtful he would come up with anything concrete.

"I've been brought down to my knees/And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking/ But I can take it" She had forgotten how many times she had been pushed past her breaking point. Jade still remembered Luxu and how he had raped her. How that had knocked her down so far and how she had barely been able to sing at that stupid ball. But she had still done it after finding out Loki was going to be there. "I'll be back/Back on my feet/This is far from over/You haven't seen the last of me"

" There will be no fade out/This is not the end/I'm down now/But i'll be standing tall again/Times are hard but/I was built tough" Daddy and Mama a had made her tough. They hadn't shied away from the nitty gritty stuff once she was old enough. The islanders had also made it their mission to torture her when she was there." I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of/I've been brought down to my knees/And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking/But I can take it/ I'll be back/Back on my feet/ This is far from over/I am far from over/You haven't seen the last of me"

People were starting to stand and clap as if the song was almost over. Alabaster got up trying to keep his eyes on her. He could see the pain in her eyes too. What horrors had she faced to harbor so much sorrow, so much agony? The male wanted so badly to wrap her up in his arms and never let go. He had the feeling however that he was gonna have to get through wall after wall before that happened.

"No no/I'm not going nowhere/I'm staying right here/Oh no/You won't see me begging/I'm not taking my bow" The end of the song and she had kept her eyes on him for most of it. The look on his face one that spoke so much and yet nothing all at once. Why would he want to hold her? Why would he want anything to do with her? Most only came trying to get her favor. "Can't stop me/It's not the end/You haven't seen the last of me/Oh no/You haven't seen the last of me/You haven't seen the last of me" But maybe he would be different from those before him.


	5. Chapter 4

Alabaster watched as she exited the stage and licked his lips. She really was a marvel. Were there even words to describe her? Jade was just…...Jade. That was the only way he could describe her. She was just so unique that she was not like others. The silver was her own person and it made her all the more desirable for him. Because it meant there would only ever be one her.

_" __You never got to meet her parents. Then you would see where she gets it." _His alter chimed in almost as if far away in another time. This was the most talkative Loki had been in a long time and all because of Jade. There had also been a long while that Jade hadn't been here when the place was open. _"She lost her hope, and now it's coming back."_

Vanitas walked back stage and into the room that functioned as her dressing room and office. She was sitting at her vanity table. An antique half round that was dark wood. It had a half round free standing mirror as well. The the table itself had small cabinets under the mirror before the flat part that one spread their make up over. Beneath that was draws to hold things, make up, brushes, anything that she could need. Not that she really needed the make up.

Her domains were many now. It had started with the domains of Loki's god hood. Mischief, chaos and lies, those had been the first three. As the years passed she had gained more and her own god hood manifested. Beauty, fertility, war, love, sex and even foresight. Though now that he thought about it those had all belonged to Loki's mother Frigga before her death. He knew she had been close to Frigga so it didn't surprise him that she gained those. Those things were also so utterly Jade that it wasn't funny. Perhaps that was why Loki fell for her, because she was like his mother.

" Bring him back here." Jade stated as she brushed her hair. The silver locks shined as they fell down her back and over her shoulders. Her green hues looked back at her from the mirror as she released a sigh. Vanny was still watching her. " What did I just say?"

" Going, Goddess." He stated and walked out before she could say anything. Vanitas was really in a foul mood now. The bastard was getting invited back into her dressing room/office. She had never let anyone but him back there and never for this. Never had she ever wanted to fuck him where anyone could hear. It made his blood boil with rage and jealousy. Not that he had a real reason to be jealous as she had never actually been his. But the thought of anyone else touching her.

The raven saw him, Alabaster, sitting in the place that Jade had left him. Fist clenched as he went over to the other male. " She wants to see you in her dressing room." Vanitas stated a bit of a growl in his voice. He wanted so badly to throw this little shit out, but he knew she would get pissed off at him.

In her dressing room? Had he really made that much of an impression on her? Getting up he swallowed and moved to follow the other man as he turned around. This one seemed to have anger issues. The tension in his body was unmistakable, like he wanted to scream and smash shit. The thought of someone smashing him actually caused him to shiver. A flash of a green beast going through his mind.

" She is through that door." Vanitas stated as tapped on the door and kept walking. He didn't want to be anywhere near that door tonight. Really was was likely to go home and tear up his room. That would help him to feel better, maybe. The Raven wasn't sure it was gonna work tonight. Maybe he would find a random chick and fuck the shit out of her. That might take his mind off of what was gonna happen tonight. It wasn't like he wasn't allowed to have others, he had just never done it. His loyalty ran too deep for him to even think about it. It didn't matter that they weren't together, he still felt like he was betraying her in some way.

Alabaster watched the other walk down the hall for a moment before opening the door and went in. The room was painted a soft green with sheer dark brown curtains over the only window that sat on the wall opposite him. Next to the window in a corner near what appeared to be a large walk in closet was an antique vanity table. The dark wood complimented the color of the walls nicely.

Turning he looked to the other other side of the room. This room ran long ways with the door on the left wall almost opposite the vanity table. On the other side of the room was an antique desk that was also dark wood. Along the back wall we're two bookshelves with what appeared to be a liquor cabinet between them. The shelves were filled with all manner of books. Though the ones that were the most worn seemed to be the Norse mythology books.

Where was she? The raven had said she would be in here, but she wasn't. Though it did give him the chance to maybe learn somethings about her. Alabaster walked over to the desk and went behind it. The rounded ends matched the vanity to a degree. Looked at the liquor cabinet he noticed that most of it was asgardian sweet mead. For some reason that really didn't surprise him much.

Pulling out the chair he sat down only for ropes of energy to circle his wrists and ankles. Maybe it had been a bad idea to snoop? Though it really was too late now. _"You'll be fine. She is only playing with you." _Loki chimes as if that was suppose to make him feel better. Playing with him could mean a lot of thing and some of them were rather nasty things. Alabaster was actually starting to panic as he thought about it.


End file.
